Studs Up

Overheard Telephone Conversation
September 4, 2009, 3:44 pm
Filed under: Liverpool FC


Tom: Howdy partner?

George: Tom – good to speak to you. What’s up?

Tom: Tryin to figure out some new ways to milk our cow, ya know?

George: Sure! Gotta keep up the payments and still leave some room for skimming off the top, there’s a recession on.
Good that the Spaniard didn’t walk when we cut his transfer budget to zero – he figures he’ll beat us by winning the title anyway, can you believe? But we still need another 20m for the interest due till the next refinancing of the loan. You got any ideas?

Tom: I have a humdinger of an idea, it’s so cool: we bring in a membership scheme, and make 5000 seats available for each home game to sell online to the ‘official members’.

George: You mean ‘official mugs’, right?

Tom: Right. The loyal patsies will sign up in numbers far in excess of the available tickets, – so that’s just money in our pockets for nothing – and even those who do occasionally get tickets will be paying the regular rate PLUS their membership subscription for them: close to a 100% price hike if they are successful just once! And we’ll make sure the system is so bad they won’t succeed often. Whaddya think?

George: Gotta admit, I am impressed Tom. But won’t they get mad and want their money back when they all try to get online to buy their tickets and the system buckles every time? I mean: I assume we are not going to upgrade the server to cope with the traffic? That would cost us money.

Tom: Are you kiddin? We ain’t gonna spend a damn thing! Believe me, they’ll still be comin’ back all season long, bright and early, every time a sale is on, refreshing and refreshing, reloading and reloading, redialling and redialling.

George: Yeah, ain’t that strange? I mean, ain’t it curious how they go on paying, and putting up with us? Go figure.

Tom: Don’t knock it, George. It’s making us richer.

George: Amen to that partner.


2 Comments so far
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It most definitely is NOT a “wonderful life” for Scousers fans right now – I can just here the cries of “whaddya mean the stadium is out of tickets and the bank is out of money?!”

Comment by Elliott

Well, exactly Elliot. Grim times.

Comment by GW

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